On September 10, 2025, a man was shot and killed while speaking on the Utah Valley University campus. The murdered victim is survived by his wife, a three-year-old daughter, and a one-year-old son. These children will grow up never knowing their father. They will miss him daily: during every morning, afternoon, and evening. Their father will not be present for every major event in their lives. These facts make this incident a tragedy that should be mourned by all Americans. If we are outraged by the anonymous abductions of our neighbors and the callous separations of families, we should also be angered by the senseless murder of a young father of two. Nothing can justify this killing. Every one of us should remember their children before expressing an opinion about Charlie Kirk’s death.

After Charlie was pronounced dead, many used their platforms to express reactions, make assumptions, and assign blame. I’ve learned in life that almost every assumption I make about another’s motive is typically incorrect. I don’t want to make assumption as to why people have certain reactions to Charlie’s death. However, if our reaction to his murder is to celebrate his death. Or merely to speak ill of the departed. Then each of us as individuals needs to reflect on how we are becoming that which we claim to hate.

I don’t know much about Charlie’s work. The few clips I saw of him prior to September 10th made me realize I was not his target demographic, and I quickly tuned out his redirect. Since his death, I have come to understand that his opinions made many angry. After speaking with some local pastors, watching some of his clips, and reading some of his quotes. It appears to me that Charlie thrives in conflict. Charlie would debate people with opposing viewpoints and take a hard stance on his own opinions, unwilling to find a compromise.

Charlie took hardliner stances on minorities, immigrants, religion, and politics. His uncompromising style further divided his followers from his critics. Both groups became more interested in proving their opponents wrong, rather than reasoning with each other. Most of the criticism I’ve read about Charlie regards him as hateful and divisive. However, if we respond to his death with celebration or anger, then we two have become hateful and divisive.

We don’t have to honor Charlie as something that he wasn’t. But we also shouldn’t be heartless and cruel. Charlie was a human being, created in God’s image. He has a family, friends, and many admirers who are all grieving right now. We should love our neighbors and mourn with them. Comfort them in their pain and respect their loss.

There is a lot of power in observing MAGA regret their votes and support. And that power is an evil cancer that corrodes our own humanity. It further divides us and destroys our one Nation. That evil feeds on everyone’s hate of one another. It leads us to believe that there is joy in the suffering of our counterparts. However, there is a greater power in loving our opposition. Chicken soup for the soul is not made in stories of regret. Our hearts are not comforted watching others suffer to the point of regret. True joy comes in moments of compassion. Acts of love and kindness bring us to tears of joy. Healing starts with forgiveness and reconciliation. We cannot have unity and revenge. We can either let go of our desire to own our counterparts, or we can heal our divided country. We can’t have both. We can show compassion and love to our “enemies.” Instead of focusing on Charlie’s work, we can focus on Charlie’s children. We can build a united nation where neighbors get along, respect one another, and are there for each other in our times of need. For us and for all of our children.

An alarming nuance in the reaction to Charlie’s death was the immediate assigning of blame, specifically by elected officials. I don’t want to be divisive. That would be hypocritical of me. I have noticed that this issue is not being addressed well. Many of Charlie’s supporters were quick to blame liberals without knowing anything about the party responsible. Making assumptions has nearly always led me to learn that I was completely wrong in what I assumed.

For example, take Congresswoman Nancy Mace’s reaction. Nancy’s immediate comment was to blame the democrats for the shooting. She has since backtracked on her words after learning the alleged gunman is from a conservative MAGA family. Liberals’ reaction to Mace’s backtracking is just as bad, if not worse, than Nancy’s initial reaction.

We prioritize attacking Nancy’s hypocrisy to feel the pleasure of owning our opponents. Instead, we should focus on how our leaders have no sympathy or compassion for the tragedies we endure. Democrat and republican politicians both do this, not just Nancy. It should be most alarming to all of us that our politicians’ first reaction to any new incident is to respond with a spin that helps their political position. Nancy immediately assigning blame to democrats for the actions of an unknown shooter is both egregious and all too common. We need to get back to a point where that behavior is both humiliating and unacceptable. We have to demand more of our leaders, and we can begin by rejecting this now common practice of both democrats and republicans. Allowing politicians to continue in that behavior only divides all of us and absolves them of any accountability.

The most disturbing revelation from Charlie’s murder is that the alleged shooter was influenced by both right and left ideology. At first, it was easy to assume that a left-wing radical shot Charlie. However, the accused shooter was raised in a MAGA household. The 22-year-old in custody for the shooting has not provided a motive or political affiliation. His background and social media presence indicate a far-right background. His living situation and bullet markings lean far left with anti-fascism rhetoric.

We should all be concerned that our children are growing up observing our extreme political divides. Whether we intend it or not, they are being pulled towards both extremes. They are learning that there is no longer a middle ground. We are creating a generation that only sees conflict and chaos. This isn’t an FAFO moment. This is a wake-up call for everyone. Extremist are becoming bolder in their actions. Anarchists don’t care about conservatives or liberals; they just want to watch it all burn.

We need to stop finger-pointing at one another. We cannot take pleasure in watching our counterparts experience suffering and regret. Our petty differences can no longer divide us. Revenge, anger, and hate must depart from the way we treat our neighbors. And we cannot wait for our leaders to come together. We need to see each other as friends, neighbors, and our fellow Americans. We can start by comforting those who are grieving for Charlie. We start by letting go of our anger towards the opposition. We start by putting the needs of our children first, the needs of Charlie’s children. We can treat each other with dignity and kindness. We can take the time to listen to our neighbors and respond with compassionate words. We can find common ground. Charlie wanted to be remembered for his courage in his Christian faith. Jesus’ final commandment was to “love one another: just as I have loved you.” John 13:34

We can start by taking two incredible acts of courage. First, to love those that we currently call our enemies until we can recognize that they are our neighbors. Second, to love our neighbors as Jesus taught us to love ourselves. Loving one another is the greatest courage each of us can show because it leaves us vulnerable. That type of courage will heal our Nation and provide us with authentic joy.